Book the Shock Doc Show

Thursday, May 10, 2007

The Story of The Blade Box

You paid your dollar, came in to watch the fire eater, the sword swallower, the woman with a beard, the contortionist and, as promised, you got to stay as long as you liked. After all, just a dollar for ten shows—what a great investment! You probably would have paid two dollars, but you were one of the lucky ones. The guy on the outside selling tickets offered a limited deal. If you got in the line right now, he would give you the kid’s price. And you barely made it—you may have been the last one in line to get that price.

Now you have finished seeing all the acts and they were, as promised, amazing. But just before the wonder dissipates, the man who has excitedly introduced each act reappears with a proposition and a really attractive young lady. Previously, after each introduction, you saw something quite amazing so your ears have perked up once again.

The inside lecturer tells you, “Ladies and Gentleman. I have a special bonus for you. I have one other act which I have not yet mentioned. In fact, this act is so special it is not even advertised outside. It is a bonus for the added fee of one dollar. For this small contribution you can see this once in a lifetime show. It isn’t for the faint of heart. You’ll see this pretty girl get into a small box, just barely large enough to contain her. Once she is in there, with no place to go, using powers unknown you or me, The Great Martini will run up to twenty blades of steel through the box and out the other side. These are actual solid steel blades folks and there is a $10,000 reward for anyone who can prove they aren’t. With no place to go in the box, this girl may not make it out alive. See this amazing one-time only act that baffled even the great Houdini.”

“Baffled the great Houdini” you think to yourself. “He was great for his time, but people are better educated and more sophisticated these days. Baffled Houdini? I bet I could probably figure it out. Besides 10K to prove the blades aren’t real? If I see a sliding blade, they had better pay up! Plus that girl standing next to him is pretty hot. Ok. It’s worth a dollar.”

Once on the inside of the annex, you turn on your eagle eyes. The hot girl wearing the yellow bikini gets into the box. The lid is closed. You check below the box to look for any black art or mirrors. “Nothing there.” You say to yourself. Clearly she has been switched out. Wait, you see the girl’s hand come through a hole in the box, so a switch isn’t the answer. Huh? The girl tosses out the yellow bikini she was wearing. “Woah! This is getting better”, you say to yourself.

THWACK! A blade goes in. Wait, you didn’t see it, you were thinking about the naked girl. “Ok. Pay attention” you say to yourself. THWACK…..THWACK….THWACK Hoping to make 10 grand you are checking for phony blades but indeed they are all coming through the box and appear solid. THWACK…THWACK….THWACK “Nineteen” shouts the magician and twenty!”. THWACK.

“Now ladies and gentlemen, I am going to give you an opportunity to learn about how this great illusion works. For the added price of one dollar you can come up here and see this pretty girl still inside the box, but like the day she was born. For one dollar more.”
You admit to yourself that you can’t figure it out. Better yet, you get to see a naked girl for a dollar. See a naked girl and learn how an illusion is done! What could be better? Your hands can’t hand the dollar over fast enough. As you sprint up the aisle and approach the box, you slowly peer inside. Revealed are two secrets. The first is that it is possible for the girl to be in the box and not get hurt by the blades. The second is that she was wearing a red bikini underneath her yellow bikini…and that is The Blowoff.